nawigator: (I'm going to start crying soon)
[personal profile] nawigator
 (For [personal profile] convertable_cameo )

'Two weeks medical leave pending mental and physical checks before return to full service.'

Every time Pasha looked at the message on her PADD it made her feel sick to her stomach. It was happening again, they were going to ruin her career unknowingly with kindness. This was the kind of thing that stuck about on permanent promotion records. There would be records of the event and break downs of the stoic state she'd been in for the past week as well as probably advisals from both McCoy and the nurses who had treated her. The thing that stung the most was being completely locked out of the navigational systems to 'encourage' her to rest and relax.

It only made her more anxious, not knowing where they were and who was on the con. And who was touching her console and sitting at her rightful place at the helm. There had been messages from well wishers as she had expected. But none of them exactly said 'Sorry you were humiliated entirely by a close personal friend in front of several of your crewmembers and a man you've had a crush on since you met him.' Hikaru hadn't even spoken to her since it had all happened and she was worried that she'd lost his respect forever, never mind any feelings she might have had for him. She'd half hoped he might have at least pitied her and come to see how she was. He knew she got ansty being away from the helm like this.

She glanced at her PADD once again, desperately wishing for the words to change or alter, determined to stare at them until they changed, gnawing furiously on her lower lip and listening to the minutes counting down in her head until she was at the helm again. 

Date: 2012-03-18 11:44 pm (UTC)
From: [personal profile] convertable_cameo
Gaila frowned. She was one of the dozen Enterprise crew members who'd hacked the illness logs to see if anyone was hurt - and that wasn't the note she wanted to see. That wasn't the cure she needed. She was unhurt and needed to be shown that, not have things rubbed in. And being Pasha she needed something to do - she'd have words with the idiot therapist in her own time but for now there was a friend hurt. And worse yet, a friend hurt by her.

She opened her comm. "Pasha. It's Gaila. Mind if I drop in?" She knew Pasha would be watching whatever she did with the screen. And though there was sympathy in her eyes there wasn't a trace of pity - and was a touch of anger, although not directed at Pasha.

Date: 2012-03-19 12:03 am (UTC)
From: [personal profile] convertable_cameo
Gaila's response was simply a rude noise to that declaration. "Pasha you know how to seal your cabin from transportation. If it's not locked in ten seconds I'm coming in." She knew Pasha was in a sulk - but to seal her cabin would take actual work. So she didn't think Pasha would. "And if it helps, I'm sorry." There was something slightly brittle in Gaila's voice which wasn't normally there - but she was very glad that she hadn't been recognised throughout the escape attempt. And was an old hand at sending therapists into a spin.

Date: 2012-03-19 12:26 am (UTC)
From: [personal profile] convertable_cameo
Gaila of course materialised, actually wearing full Starfleet uniform for once (even if the version with a ridiculously short skirt). And although her eyes looked normal there was just a touch more makeup there than normal, concealing the almost khaki circles. "Pasha, I'm sorry. And if there's anything you want from me..."

Then she almost flipped, smiling. "Although I think I can cure that boredom you must be having by now. There's nothing saying you need to stay on the Enterprise for the two weeks, and one of the shuttlecraft is officially mine and warp-capable. Anywhere you want to go?"

Date: 2012-03-19 01:49 am (UTC)
From: [personal profile] convertable_cameo
Gaila simply laughed. "Please. Book a flight plan to a resort world, as long as it's not Argo, and it would not. And the rules on resort plans just say you need to book a room there and spend some time." Yes, she had had medical leave before. And twisted her lips wryly. "Even extreme sports count as relaxing. No responsibility."

Date: 2012-03-19 11:57 pm (UTC)
From: [personal profile] convertable_cameo
"'The cure for this ill is not to sit still, or frowst with a book by the fire.'" It still amused Gaila how, in their training on Human literature how many Federation officers were keen on the poet who had praised the 'White Man's Burden'. Gaila shook her head and continued "I'm not going to go away, Pasha, unless you tell me to or decide on something you actually want to do." A slight pause. "And if you want some personal revenge, I'll let you have it."

Date: 2012-03-20 09:43 pm (UTC)
From: [personal profile] convertable_cameo
Gaila shook her head. "There were two other plans I could have used. Not as reliable but over two thirds probability for both. And I didn't realise you'd prefer the agonizer to humiliation." A slight swallow. "And revenge? Doesn't matter about duty. Emotions matter. And..." Gaila's eyes lowered and her voice turned soft. "... I feel I deserve it."

Date: 2012-03-20 10:15 pm (UTC)
From: [personal profile] convertable_cameo
Gaila looked at her, far more vulnerable than she normally looked. "Because I've been agonized, Pasha. I've been agonized until I lost control of my muscles and would have promised anything for it to stop. I found that more humiliating than any ... artistry ever could be." Of course Pasha didn't have Gaila's way of dealing with that one - making suggestions even if only mental ones. And then awarding her tormentor marks.

Date: 2012-03-24 12:05 am (UTC)
From: [personal profile] convertable_cameo
"You're talking to me about being humiliated, Pashaska?" Gaila didn't get on with games of misery poker. "Trust me. Humiliation lasts until the next big show. From anyone, then from you." Her voice hardened. "Remember Cavendish at the academy?" Navigation instructor nery harsh and scathing but absolutely fair. Who believed that dark sarcasm in the classroom was mandatory. "Try being put straight into intermediate navigation. Then having him quiz you in front of people and discover over the period of half an hour of personal questioning you know no more maths than multiplication and division, and think that a star is a literal ball of fire. That's not just humiliating, that's incompetent. And I was fielding 'jokes' for weeks about how I'd slept my way into the academy."

She looked straight at Pasha. "Right now it's a millstone on the top of your file. Bury it under two commendations and an amusing story and it will be seen as a positive. And if you can't get the two commendations you aren't the Pasha I know."

Date: 2012-03-24 12:25 am (UTC)
From: [personal profile] convertable_cameo
Gaila put her arms round Pasha - there was nothing much else to do other than hug and whisper "I'm sorry." And hold her friend while she cried. She wondered when Pasha had last actually let the tears out.

Date: 2012-03-24 12:53 am (UTC)
From: [personal profile] convertable_cameo
"You think I've never broken down on a friend?" Gaila held Pasha, stroking her hair reassuringly. "Uhura's held me a couple of times." It didn't happen often, but the culture shock in the academy had been hard at times. Actually, that had also been weird to Gaila at the time - that Uhura had just been friendly and the only thing she'd directly gained out of it was a long conversation in street-Orion. "And I danced until I couldn't move when we were back on the Enterprise."

Date: 2012-03-26 09:51 pm (UTC)
From: [personal profile] convertable_cameo
And Gaila held back equally tight. "Pasha, I chose that situation. It's not fair. But I think I'd do the same thing again." And then her voice darkened as she continued "But I want both rescue parties put on probation."

Date: 2012-03-27 03:38 pm (UTC)
From: [personal profile] convertable_cameo
Gaila tilted Pasha's chin up. "Pasha. It wasn't just you who messed up. Everyone messed up. Kirk, Spock, Sulu, Uhura, the entire security team, and even me. You just suffered the consequences when your only mistakes were believing the briefing and trying to run with a chain round your ankle." She paused. "Other than that you did everything exactly right."

Date: 2012-03-27 05:34 pm (UTC)
From: [personal profile] convertable_cameo
"So say it hadn't been you? Then what?" Gaila frowned. "Another pretty woman would have been kidnapped. Best case is that it would have been either me or Uhura." Gaila's eyes darkened. "And even Uhura would have been worse than you. Not because she couldn't have handled it, but because Spock's repressed emotions would have made him make a hasty plan assuming far too much and dive in."

She needed to draw breath after that, and continued more softly. "Now say it was Janice or Christine kidnapped. Or any other woman on the ship. None of them would have faced what I did to you without cracking, so I'd have been on plan J or plan K. Both had a more than ten per cent chance of death."

She let that hang there.

Date: 2012-03-27 09:22 pm (UTC)
From: [personal profile] convertable_cameo
"Until today nor had I." Gaila shook her head. "I wasn't sure you'd want to see me." And Hikaru had got very drunk.

Date: 2012-03-27 09:43 pm (UTC)
From: [personal profile] convertable_cameo
"You expected it to?" Gaila smirked. "I thought you knew me better than that Pashaska. And I think he's just confused. Doesn't know how to break the ice."

Date: 2012-03-27 10:14 pm (UTC)
From: [personal profile] convertable_cameo
"He's scared. So talk to him first. And then reassure him you won't break." Gaila shrugged before whispering "I'm so sorry."

Date: 2012-03-29 12:03 am (UTC)
From: [personal profile] convertable_cameo
"If it wasn't mine then it certainly wasn't yours." Gaila smiled. But for once her fake was transparent rather than flawless. "Every single thing I did to you was my decision and my imagination." And her grip tightened.

Date: 2012-03-29 12:41 am (UTC)
From: [personal profile] convertable_cameo
"I didn't have to be so skillful." Gaila almost spat the last word. "None of the local talent would have even made a passing mark at Kalisha. And that would have been at least a commendation and display, with review for the improvisation." And then her lips twisted in a wry smile. "I used to only barely pass."

Date: 2012-03-29 01:05 am (UTC)
From: [personal profile] convertable_cameo
Gaila managed a wan smile. "I'll stop blaming myself when you stop feeling sorry for yourself. Deal?"

Date: 2012-03-29 10:26 pm (UTC)
From: [personal profile] convertable_cameo
"I hope not." Gaila's tone was a near match for Pasha's. "You know Chief Martinez wanted to give me a formal reprimand for bypassing the chain of command." That hadn't lasted long with Kirk.

Date: 2012-04-02 12:55 am (UTC)
From: [personal profile] convertable_cameo
"To avoid taking responsibility himself." Gaila's tone was bitter and wry. "And because he hasn't worked out he should be keeping his head down."


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Ensign Polina 'Pasha' A. Chekov

May 2012

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